Things I never thought would happen:
-I would ever enjoy waking up before noon.
-I would ever actually think about someone else's feelings before I opened my mouth to speak...especially when I'm in charge
-watching the news (in the morning and at night)
-drinking coffee everyday, instead of beer
-reading the mail, every single piece
-making my Christmas list in August and going through an amazing catalog and writing down what I want to get each person on my list
-thinking about buying a house, and in which school zone I want
-I never thought I'd enjoy growing up...
But as I sit here, off work early, in my pajamas at 6:25 pm, watching the 6 o clock news, making my Christmas list.... It just hit me.... I'm a grown up. Not just a grown up, playing house with a boy...but still no real responsibilities.... I am a freeking grown up. I have a child on the way. Who has a 6 month plan? I do... I have to...because in 6 months, my life will change forever. It's a scary thought... just for a moment. And then after a deep breath... I am embracing it. I am so excited. I am scared to flippin death. I am afraid it will all come about so quickly...and I need time to prepare. I need time to make more money, I need to buy funiture, a new car... to train my dog not to bark and my cat not to try and trip me... oh and the thoughts go on and on...
But I just realized that I have become a worrier. About driving, other cars around me, someone at work who cut themselves, when I don't hear from my mother when I'm supposed to... I have found myself more compassionate for someone who is crying, or if I hurt feelings... It's weird!
I wake up everyday at 7:45, no matter what time I go to bed. And enjoy the time before I have to get ready. Never have I ever been a morning person... now I can't stay up past 10. My body is changing...things are getting bigger and wider. My body hasnt changed since I was about 15 (other than what I did to it)... so that's weird.
I love someone...I think possibly for the first time in my life. I think you think you love a lot...until you find out that you really do. I know I love Caleb because I can be mad as hell... I can be hurt and upset and pissed off at him... and instead of plotting revenge or thinking about life without him... All I can think about is how much I love him, even when Im mad. It's easy to forgive him. He's easy to love. And he loves me. And I hope that forever and ever we feel this way.
Anyway... enough of that.
I need some Christmas decor. I know, it's only August... but all I have is a borrowed Christmas tree and whatever ornaments came with it. I would be willing to take whatever Christmas decorations you are done with... to make my house nice and homey and seasonal. Yep, I wanna be one of those. Shoot...if you have any Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas decorations... I'll take em.
....going back to my Christmas list =)
Next trip to Dover, we can go to the attic at the Log Cabin and get all the Christmas stuff, and I'll even share some of the ornaments YOU MADE and a few other things to begin your own collection! Of course we'll have to send Big Country up the ladder, since I'm too old and you are too fragile! lol
ReplyDeleteLove you honey! Love that you are a planner and keeping your eye on the ball!