Today is the day!

We go in less than 2 hours to find out if we're having a little girl or a little boy.

The anticipation has been so crazy. I am so excited.

I truly have no intuition as to what it could be. But for some reason I think they're gonna tell us it's a girl. Caleb of course thinks it's a boy. But we are both just ready to know... to start planning.

After today I will be able to pray for our baby by name. I will be able to say something besides Cletus is really moving today. haha

Today i'm going to be the future mother of a baby girl, or a baby boy. It changes things. It makes it real. I am so nervous.

And from today until Saturday at 2 I am going to have to cut myself off from my family and close friends who are going to drive me crazy trying to figure out how to get me to tell. What a wonderful day today is. I am blessed. We prayed together today. Prayed for our little miracle to be healthy and strong. I can't wait.

18 Weeks Tomorrow

Just 2 more weeks to go until we find out it we're having a Camilie Jane or a Caden Boyd! =) I'm still working with the spelling of Camilie, Camalie, Camily, Camely..... lol

But I had a terrible dream last night that I went to the doc and they couldnt tell what I was having. So I got up today and scheduled another ultrasound for the day after at this imaging place in Nashville. She was really nice... I explained my situation about the gender reveal party and how important it was that I find out and she let me schedule a "just-in-case" appointment. And told me if I cancel that it would be just fine! Whew....so hopefully my wee one decides to act right and spread those legs! I already plan on drinking lots of water in the days before so there is plenty of fluid to swim in and eat some reeses before my appointment for some added sugar to make Cletus wiggly! hehe

I'm getting big. I have noticed a change in the last few days. It's already starting to feel uncomfortable. The owner of my job was in yesterday and said to me "wow....Cace, you're big already!" yep, thanks! But he also assured me that later on if I only needed to do sit down admin work, or training stuff that he would make sure to make hours for me! That made me feel good. They just love me... as they should!

I got some Halloween decorations up around the house thanks to Caleb's mom! She gave me some stuff to make it look good! It's cute. I would take some pictures but my house is a mess and Im not cleaning it today. =) 

What else is new? Work, eat, sleep, eat, repeat. So I guess, nothing! 14 days from today we find out... and on the 22nd we have a gender reveal party.... then I'll give ya a good blog! Till then......

16 Weeks Tomorrow

We went to the doctor today. Very quick visit. We got to hear the heartbeat again... that was nice. Seems like it's slower this time than the last but the doc said it sounded perfect. The only questions I had were about my nosebleeds (I've had 2 the past two days) and he said it was very normal. So were my headaches. And so are the sharp pains I have pretty frequently. Everything seems to be just normal.

Biggest accomplishment for me is my weight gain. I weigh 120 lbs!!! The most I've ever weighed, ever. I have gained a total of 10 pounds in 2 months. Holy moly! They said it was perfect for me.... but I realize if I keep up that momentum, I'll be about 150 lbs by March... GEEZ! haha

We got to make our ultrasound appt too! We will find out what we're having on Thursday October 20th! At 9:30 AM. I still havent finalized plans on how I will tell everyone yet. I'm sure I will come up with some clever way to do it.... or maybe I'll just call everyone... guess you'll all just have to wait! They will tell me then what my definate due date is as well. We're really hoping baby Frazier decides to come either February 29th (leap year) or March 10th, or March 13th (since both of our b-days are on the 13th of a month).... But Im sure by that point, I wont care when he or she comes.... as long as it's soon!

So now it's the waiting game again.... a whole month before we can start planning and buying stuff! gahhhhhh

Here are some pics. I don't like the frontal view ones... I just look so wide and spread out... and look at my Ginormus boobs!!!!!! Good grief! I swear I'm wearing a bra.... haha

15 Weeks

Sorry for the delay in updating... but honestly its been pretty boring around here. Ever since the second tri-mester started, nothing very exciting has been happening.

Caleb and I are both working as much as we can and picking up extra shifts where possible so we see each other very little. I feel really good lately, other than a really bad headache about once a week, and constant sinus crud. My body gets really tired after being on my feet for 8 hours. I try to do as little as possible on my days off.

My belly is growing...duh! I have love handles for the first time in my life...hahaha. My boobs only fit in a sports bra. I can tell in my face that I'm growing. Sublte little changes that only I can notice, I think. The only yucky part so far is that my body is completely broken out from the boobs and up. (Gross, I know)... (thanks Mom!) I have always had acne issues, but this is definately the worse it's ever been. It's disgusting and I hate it, a lot. On top of already not feeling very attractive due to a bump in my belly... my skin sucks.

I'm very ready to start feeling my baby move so I can start to make some kind of connection with it. All I can think about right now is financial issues, how I can possibly make more money, find more time to sleep, get Caleb a new car, pay back the money we owe, work, food, sleep, get baby stuff... etc...

On a positive note, we have a doctors appt this Thursday. Hopefully they pay more attention to me than Caleb this time. I think we get to hear the heartbeat again. But the most exciting part is that we get to schedule our ultasound! If I have it my way it will be on October 13th. Then we can start finding stuff we like...and I can start planning. That will make me feel better I think.

The WIC program is an amazing program! I had to attend a class today on breast feeding. Before today I had decided to try and breast feed, but only for the first couple of weeks. After today's class I truly hope I can breast feed for at least the first 6 weeks and hopefully longer. (Just to let you know, my previous "enhancements" have nothing to do with the effects of breast feeding...trust me, I've asked my doc!) Other than the obvious positives of feeding my baby, did you know that breast fed children's chance of obesity later in life is only .01%... that's insane! Also, if I choose to do it 100 percent, WIC will provide me with a state of the art breast pump for the first year, plus access to a lactation consultant over the phone and for in-home visits if needed! Its a new program started a few months ago... I just think its awesome. The lady giving the class today gave lots of helpful hints about how to hide yourself in public and what to wear.

I have also decided to have as much skin-to-skin contact after birth as possible. So here's a friendly warning... As long as I don't have a c-section and everything goes normally with a healthy baby... you may want to wait for several hours after I have the baby to visit. I plan to spend lots of time right away just me, daddy, and baby! (And both grand-moms because I'm sure I'll need you both! =) ) Did you know? that if you put your baby on your tummy right after it comes out, within an hour or so the baby will crawl to your breasts all by itself and start nursing??!! Like little puppies!!! haha I thought that was pretty cool. Also, yes... I do plan on having an epidural. I know I'm tough, but I'm not stupid enough to think I can withstand the pain of childbirth all alone. I have dreams all the time that for whatever reason I don't get to have one... and I wake up scared to death.

So, because I do not have a functioning camera I wont be posting any pictures this time. I will try and update on Thursday after my appointment and I will try and take one with my phone and put it on here.

And for now, me and Cletus-the-fetus are going to take a nap! =)

Maternal Instinct... Or Just Growing up in general

Things I never thought would happen:
-I would ever enjoy waking up before noon.
-I would ever actually think about someone else's feelings before I opened my mouth to speak...especially when I'm in charge
-watching the news (in the morning and at night)
-drinking coffee everyday, instead of beer
-reading the mail, every single piece
-making my Christmas list in August and going through an amazing catalog and writing down what I want to get each person on my list
-thinking about buying a house, and in which school zone I want
-I never thought I'd enjoy growing up...

But as I sit here, off work early, in my pajamas at 6:25 pm, watching the 6 o clock news, making my Christmas list.... It just hit me.... I'm a grown up. Not just a grown up, playing house with a boy...but still no real responsibilities.... I am a freeking grown up. I have a child on the way. Who has a 6 month plan? I do... I have to...because in 6 months, my life will change forever. It's a scary thought... just for a moment. And then after a deep breath... I am embracing it. I am so excited. I am scared to flippin death. I am afraid it will all come about so quickly...and I need time to prepare. I need time to make more money, I need to buy funiture, a new car... to train my dog not to bark and my cat not to try and trip me... oh and the thoughts go on and on...

But I just realized that I have become a worrier. About driving, other cars around me, someone at work who cut themselves, when I don't hear from my mother when I'm supposed to... I have found myself more compassionate for someone who is crying, or if I hurt feelings... It's weird!

I wake up everyday at 7:45, no matter what time I go to bed. And enjoy the time before I have to get ready. Never have I ever been a morning person... now I can't stay up past 10. My body is changing...things are getting bigger and wider. My body hasnt changed since I was about 15 (other than what I did to it)... so that's weird.

I love someone...I think possibly for the first time in my life. I think you think you love a lot...until you find out that you really do. I know I love Caleb because I can be mad as hell... I can be hurt and upset and pissed off at him... and instead of plotting revenge or thinking about life without him... All I can think about is how much I love him, even when Im mad. It's easy to forgive him. He's easy to love. And he loves me. And I hope that forever and ever we feel this way.

Anyway... enough of that.
I need some Christmas decor. I know, it's only August... but all I have is a borrowed Christmas tree and whatever ornaments came with it. I would be willing to take whatever Christmas decorations you are done with... to make my house nice and homey and seasonal. Yep, I wanna be one of those. Shoot...if you have any Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas decorations... I'll take em.

....going back to my Christmas list =)

11 weeks 5 days

We went to the doctor yesterday. It was fun. The nurses at my doctors office met us last time we went. And they remembered Caleb, probably more than they remembered me. My doctor is Dr. Boerner. He's an older man, been delivering babies for at least 18 years or so. And his nurses are older than my mother...and they LOVE them some Caleb. They flirt with him from the time we come in the door until we leave. They took him out of the room I was in to show him pictures of one of their sons.... Its mostly really cute, but yesterday I was annoyed because I didn't feel very good and I felt like we were at an appointment for Caleb, not for me and our baby. Looking back at it, it was really funny. And at least they remember us for something. But I told Caleb if it happened again, I was leaving his butt at home the next time! ha

But my visit went well. I weigh 115.8 (which is more than I've ever weighed in my life). Caleb got yelled at by the nurse for looking at the scale when I stood on it. The nurse said that was a "no-no". But I think because I've never had a weight issue... gaining weight is no big deal for me. So, for now at least, I don't mind sharing with him or with you how much I'm gaining... because, let's be honest.... how many of you think I'm fat for weighing 115 pounds??? LOL Anyway, my blood pressure was perfect. They took 3 tubes of blood for my HIV test and whatever else they test for. Is it weird to feel a slight bit worried about my hiv test? I know I don't have it... but it's still scary, right? Then the nurse sat us down to ask us the billion questions about us and our family health history. We were pretty easy, with most answers being "no". Then the doctor came in..... for our first meeting.......

My doctor is not what I expected. I knew he was older. But I expected an older man, gray hair, fat, like Santa Claus.... and someone as talkative as his nurses were. Dr. Boerner came in my room and the first thing I noticed were his loafers with no socks as he tippy-toed danced from the door to his stool. Almost like he was trying not to fall, maybe... or maybe he's just light on his feet and was having a good day. But he danced, on his toes, to his seat. It was weird. He then looked up at me and said "Questions?"........... He is tall and very lanky, like my dad. Doesn't look like he's over 45... I was trying to figure out what my first impression was...and I couldn't. It wasn't that I didn't like him right off the bat, it was just that he seemed weird, quirky... and hard to figure out.

I told him I didn't really have any questions, or maybe it was just I had too many to ask! This is our first time meeting each other, YOU tell me buddy! lol

He then introduced himself and went on a little talking spree, probably the same thing he tells every new patient. I will see him once a month until the 8th month, and then I'll go every 2 weeks until the 9th month and then I'll go every week. He said I would have my ultrasound between 18 and 20 weeks (in October) on a Thursday because that's when their ultrasound tech comes in. He said that's when he would set my definite due date, when he sees the ultrasound. And then when I am within 10 days of my due date, and as long as I am already dilated, he will schedule an induction on any day that I like. "You will go to the hospital at 5:30, I will come in at 6 and break your water... it usually takes 8 to 10 hours, you get your epidural whenever you want it...we have a baby by 5 or 6..." lol... Well, okay! I'm glad that's an option. So I can have my baby on March 10th! LOL That is, as long as I'm dilated. He also asked if I wanted the genetic test to see if my baby has any retardation... I said no. At this point there is no way I could abort something I love so much. God will only give us what He wants us to have. And if it happens to be a baby with special needs... I will make myself as educated as possible to make sure I can give the attention I need to. And I will love him or her just as much as I already do!

Then the doc said "well, today I'll just do an exam and at your next appt I will check the heartbeat">>>>>>>>>> WHAT? I almost had a heart attack. I am hearing this baby's heartbeat TODAY! I politely asked why I couldn't hear it today and he said I was only 10 weeks and 4 days and it would be possible that he couldn't find it yet and then I would be worried. And I politely argued that I was 11 weeks and 4 days and he should use his little circle thing and figure out that I am right and he is wrong... =) And guess who won???? He looked up from his circle thing and said "well, we'll try and hear it today".... winning!

Then they did the exam, told me to put on my clothes and then come down to his office when I was ready. We went to his office and sat down and he said "Questions?"...... um, nope... not really. I get to hear the heartbeat again next time and then the visit after that is my ultrasound. We left happy. The doc is quirky... but I decided that I like him. He's weird and different. He's direct and to the point and I like that. Besides, all he really does is catch the baby. I like the nurses a lot and hopefully the hospital nurses will be nice... that's all I care about. And I like that he lets me have Tylenol pm, benadryl, a glass of wine, or beer as stress needs it, and will let me induce if I decide I want to. And he let me win with the heartbeat argument. So, I like him!

After our appointment we went to Cool Springs Galleria to Build-a-Bear and built baby Frazier a bear, with the heartbeat in the paw.

We named him Buddy Bear. And if you push his little paw you can hear the heartbeat whenever you want. It's pretty amazing! It was fun building him too... neat little memory for us. After the mall we went fishing... and all I caught were turtles. Caleb caught everything... but it was fun.

I am feeling pretty good lately. I'm happy to be at the end of the first trimester. I haven't enjoyed it very much. But I feel less crazy, more sleepy, less uncomfortable.... And I'm happy for feeling better. I'm sure Caleb is happy too. That's the update.

Urban Dictionary

UrbanDictionary.com is a fun site where people come up with their own definitions for things and names.
I've looked up our potential baby names and just thought I'd share them with you here. Pretty funny stuff.

1.	caden
	a hot as hell, ripped out of his mind, hunky piece of man meat any girl would go crazy to have. enormous penis, immensely popular, and has girls hanging off his pinky   HAHAHAHAHAHAHA   3. Cammy 26 up, 60 down The very best kind of sister- best friend, partner in crime, & is always there. No matter what kind of shit just hit the fan.   Cute!     We have a doctors appt tomorrow (Monday)... so I'll give you a real update after that!